How many weeks has it been?

I promised myself I would write in this stupid thing, even though no one is gonna read it. At least I'm doing something for myself, right? Right. God, I feel like I'm talking to walls.


It's been what, 2 1/2 weeks since I had my first class at the FCI and though I was incredibly timid and rightfully scared, I've grown into it. A bit. I've been yelled at, been made an example how NOT to do things, I've answered questions wrong. And yet, I'm still standing. I do go back and forth between whether or not I'm really cut out to be a chef, however. Picking something you want to do for the rest of your life is fucking tricky. But hey, up until a few weeks ago I thought I was gonna be a lawyer.

This all happened so fast. I was researching culinary schools on a whim and due to culinary representatives eager to get my money, became sucked into meetings and tours and.. well.. no less than 2 weeks later I was enrolled in culinary school.

I'm starting to get past the insecurity of, "am I really cut out to do this?", "am I smart, creative, eccentric, good enough?" thoughts and just do it. Though I do admit there were a few times I was in near breakdown mode when I was told I was holding my knife incorrectly or some silly shit like that. Yes, believe it or not I am a HIGHLY sensitive being. At times.

Anyways, I had my first test on Wednesday and I think I did all right. I think I may just turn out all right if I can manage to shut my brain off and just cook with my heart.

It's late and I'm tired. See you folks later.

First Day!

My first day as culinary student was... depressing. Well, I suppose it wasn't too bad. I just thought I did a terrible job as opposed to maybe other people, or perhaps in the eyes of my instructor. I need to practice. A LOT.

I was running around all damn day trying to get things ready for class tonight. I needed a copy of my high school diploma, my TB and Hepatitis A tests, oh and a check for $9,900. Luckily my parents have put aside money for school so I needn't worry too much about finances. Getting my medical tests was a different story however. I ran back and forth to the hospital and waited about 45 minutes not once, but twice and STILL didn't get my Hep. A results. Luckily, the people at FCI allowed me to take part in the class regardless.

As for the class, well it starts at 6pm and ends at 11pm. No breaks. I needed a cigarette after an hour. We got our knife and utensil kits, which is what I was mostly excited about. We went over safety regulations and took a tour of the building before starting anything. Then we learned how to julienne and jardiniére just about every vegetable known to man. All the while our instructor was quizzing us on the exact measurements of each one, what happens after you macédoine, etc. It was all quite overwhelming.

Some people from the baking class down the hall brought some pastries, so that definitely made things better.

It was so nice to finish with class and be able to come home to my wonderful boyfriend who was eagerly waiting to hear every detail, as well as my parents. I didn't realize I had such a fantastic support team. These people really want me to succeed!

Now, I have lots of work to do, I gotta wash and press my clothes and read up on my lessons. Jesus, this might just be more difficult than academics!