I promised myself I would write in this stupid thing, even though no one is gonna read it. At least I'm doing something for myself, right? Right. God, I feel like I'm talking to walls.
It's been what, 2 1/2 weeks since I had my first class at the FCI and though I was incredibly timid and rightfully scared, I've grown into it. A bit. I've been yelled at, been made an example how NOT to do things, I've answered questions wrong. And yet, I'm still standing. I do go back and forth between whether or not I'm really cut out to be a chef, however. Picking something you want to do for the rest of your life is fucking tricky. But hey, up until a few weeks ago I thought I was gonna be a lawyer.
This all happened so fast. I was researching culinary schools on a whim and due to culinary representatives eager to get my money, became sucked into meetings and tours and.. well.. no less than 2 weeks later I was enrolled in culinary school.
I'm starting to get past the insecurity of, "am I really cut out to do this?", "am I smart, creative, eccentric, good enough?" thoughts and just do it. Though I do admit there were a few times I was in near breakdown mode when I was told I was holding my knife incorrectly or some silly shit like that. Yes, believe it or not I am a HIGHLY sensitive being. At times.
Anyways, I had my first test on Wednesday and I think I did all right. I think I may just turn out all right if I can manage to shut my brain off and just cook with my heart.
It's late and I'm tired. See you folks later.
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